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Reverse deficit spending and the concentration of power in central government, in order to preserve states' rights and individual liberty for future generations. |
The Stewart Report
This Week's Report -- "Tebowing"
by Jerry StewartLet me start off by saying that I'm pretty much an average fan of sports. I don't watch a lot of the games, usually don't know the standings - but I do love to watch a good match between gifted athletes, each determined to do whatever it takes to prevail and to win. By the way, did you know that the word "fan" comes from the bigger word "fanatic". I'm not sure whether being a sports "fanatic" is something I would aspire to be.
Now, my purpose in my opening disclaimer is to make clear that I know little about the whole "Tim Tebow" story. All I know is that one day I heard his name mentioned on the news and there was this picture of this young man, dressed in full football gear, on one knee praying.
From there it all gets a little cloudy; some commentators saying he's not much of a ball player - only, at best, an average quarterback; other's speaking of his leadership qualities, his ability to rally his team and to find odd ways to win ball games at the last minute; others just calling him a "fluke". (Continue reading...)
Jerry Stewart, author of the book, Saving America, writes and produces One Moment in America, a feature heard daily across our nation. Jerry believes there is a great battle going on in America today which will determine whether our nation stands or falls. This weekly report speaks to these issues.
The Soap Box
Opinions expressed in The Soap Box do not necessarily represent opinions of The Bellingham Tea Party.
Send us your rant...Tea Party rising for Newt Gingrich
So long as the Washington establishment continues to underestimate - and even misunderstand - the Tea Party, insiders will continue to be pummeled by the grass-roots giant that no longer sleeps. Democrats dismissed the Tea Party in 2010 and took a historic shellacking. Republicans would be wise to learn from their mistake.
First, let's remind ourselves, the Tea Party is not a formal political party or even an advocacy group, but rather a state of mind. If you believe in constitutional fidelity, limited government and the free market, then you don't need your name on some official roster or even to have attended a rally to be part of the Tea Party movement. You simply need to use your vote and your effort to demand that our leaders embrace these principles as well. (Continue reading...)
~ By Dr. Milton R. Wolf - The Washington Times
The Equation to a Sustainable Budget
With the start of the New Year comes our fourth legislative session in 12 months. State lawmakers spent two special sessions in 2011 addressing the same problem: an unsustainable budget. Unfortunately, the 2012 session will again be focused on the same problem at a time when strengthening the economy should be the priority.
You might wonder why this budget problem persists. The simple truth: despite the sacrifices so many individuals, families and businesses have made in these tough times, Olympia refuses to adjust to economic realities.
Democrats control the House, Senate and governor's mansion. They claim the national economy is solely to blame for all of the state budget woes. This is not true.
From 2005 to 2008, state spending exploded. With a hot real estate market and consumer spending up, the state was taking in record tax collections. The majority party spent the excess money and, to compound problems, based future budgets on inflated tax collections. When the economy reset and receded, these irresponsible budgeting practices were exposed. We are dealing with the aftermath today.
The majority party also claims the budget has been cut by $10.5 billion since 2008. A recent Associated Press article pointed out: "That number is only true if you stretch the interpretation of what a budget cut is" and that "many of the hundreds of cuts Gregoire and other Democrats have tallied are simply automatic spending increases that didn't end up happening."
You only see this definition of a "cut" in Olympia.
Consider that even after $2 billion in needed spending reductions the state general fund is still projected to grow by $1.98 billion, or 6.9 percent! How many families and businesses would like to be in this position?
Many in the majority party and the governor say there is no other choice than to raise your taxes. While the governor has proposed a state sales tax increase of nearly $500 million, she is holding education and services for our most vulnerable hostage, hoping taxpayers will acquiesce to a tax increase that even she believes is "regressive."
This is a false choice. The governor has proposed cutting funding for senior citizen services by 20 percent, while only cutting her Department of Ecology's budget by 4.4 percent. She wants to fully fund state employee step salary increases while cutting services for the developmentally disabled. She also wants to continue funding sick-leave cash payments to state employees while cutting funding for at-risk youth and families.
It comes down to priorities. Let's set aside the rhetoric of an "all-cuts" budget and focus on an "all-priorities" budget. We need a state spending plan that prioritizes education, public safety and programs for our most vulnerable, and is based on the simple concept that the state should not spend more than it takes in.
We also need to commit to government reform. For a party so enamored with change at the national level in 2008, it is absolutely terrified of it at the state level. In an interview with Publicola, the governor was asked: "The Republicans have been happy to hear you embrace their mantra, which is ‘Government can't do it all.'" She responded with, "I say it regrettably. They don't." A good starting point for reform is this: If the service can be found in the Yellow Pages, maybe the state shouldn't be doing it.
We also need to eliminate waste and fraud in state government. I commend State Auditor Brian Sonntag, a Democrat, for his work identifying billions of dollars of wasteful government spending.
A recent audit revealed between March 2010 and February 2011, the state spent more than $500,000 on unused cell phones. Another audit showed from July 2008 and June 2011, the state paid more than $3.8 million for medical exams that never happened. And in June 2010, the state built an off-ramp to Highway 16 in the wrong place, costing taxpayers an extra $1 million to fix.
The point is this: It is absolutely unthinkable to ask a taxpayer for more of their hard-earned money in light of the state's failed stewardship of taxpayer dollars.
The equation to a sustainable budget is this: set priorities, commit to reform, eliminate waste and fraud in state government, and strengthen the economy through less government, lower taxes and more freedom to create, innovate and produce. We just need the leadership and courage to move them forward, breaking from business as usual in Olympia.
~ By Jason Overstreet, Blaine
Rep. Jason Overstreet represents the 42nd Legislative District, which includes the communities of Birch Bay, Blaine, Deming, Everson, Ferndale, Lynden, Nooksack, Point Roberts, Sumas, and parts of Bellingham.
The Bellingham Tea Party encourages all elected officials to contribute to the Soap Box.
Let Us Hear What You Think
Do you have an idea or an essay that you'd like to see posted on the Soap Box? Email your submissions to us.
- Be sure to include your name and a way to contact you (phone or email address) so we can verify it is really you, and properly credit your work.
- Please provide analysis and new information on topics of interest to your tea party compatriots, but more importantly, make the founding principles inviting to the fence-sitters and even those who would consider themselves liberal or progressive.
- Try to frame your arguments in general constitutional terms and principles. Screeds against a political party, or personal attacks are less effective at promoting the mission of The Bellingham Tea Party.
- The Bellingham Tea Party is not a political action committee (PAC), so although issue advocacy is permissible, we must exercise caution regarding articles exhorting people to support or oppose a particular candidate or ballot initiative.
- Please try to limit your articles to 250 words or less.
Hit Us With Your Best Shot!
Prior to the November 2010 election, the Bellingham Tea Party sent out a request for tea party supporters to "hit us with your best shot". You had three minutes to speak on any subject of interest to you.
We got stump speeches, satire, poems, parodies and great patriotic and philosophical insight into our founding principles.
We took this down following the election, but due to popular request, we put it back on the Soap Box. Enjoy!
Previous Bellingham Tea Party Events in Pictures
A Happy Independence Day, It Was!
Thanks to all of you who participated in the Blaine Independence Day (4th of July) Parade. It was a gloriously sunny day for 23 patriotic people who joined the parade event and upheld the tea party message of smaller government and preservation of our liberties and freedom.
Our entry of the tractor/trailer, driven by Don McKay was decorated in the same fashion as Lynden's entry with patriotic colors, banners, flags and posters. A new banner was added which publicized the Candidate Forums being held on July 12th and July 19th 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. at Syre Auditorium, Whatcom Community College. This was a great opportunity to get the word out for the forums.
Flag Day on I-5
Our goal was to have flags flying from every I-5 overpass from Blaine to Alger on Flag Day, Tuesday, June 14. Everyone who participated said the response from motorists was very positive and enthusiastic.
Farmers Day Parade, Lynden -- June 4, 2011
Thanks for joining us on our float at the Lynden Farmer's Day Parade, Saturday, June 4!
Third Annual Tax Day Tea Party Rally on The Guide Meridian -- April 15, 2011
Despite the rain, we had a great turnout for the third annual Tax Day Rally on The Guide. "We Ain't Going Away" was the theme of this rally. We demonstrated our staying power as we flew our flags and waved our signs in support of our commitment to reverse deficit spending and the concentration of power in central government, in order to preserve states' rights and individual liberty for future generations.
Above: snapshots courtesy of Wesley Taylor.
As always, thanks to all the great volunteers and contributors! It takes a lot more work, time and money to put one of these things on than you might think. It is appreciated!
Constitution Day Rally on The Guide Meridian -- Sept. 17, 2010
We had a great turnout for the Constitution Day rally. The weather could not have been better. It was threatening rain, but it held off for the duration of the rally.
As the rally was winding down, Wylin Tjoelker took his video camera, and stopped to chat with some of the attendees as they were leaving. A common theme in the responses is, that these are people who can't wait for November 2. They understand that the US Constitution is still the official specification for our United States of America; that it protects equal justice for all, our individual liberty, and our prosperity; and that any regime that distorts or disregards its original intent is untrustworthy and dangerous. The dead-tree media and the alphabet networks just don't get that about the Tea Party movement.
In the video, you'll see some of the supporters holding signs, literature or displaying stickers from various candidates, who also came to work the crowd. As always, the Bellingham Tea Party does not endorse any candidates or ballot initiatives, but individual supporters can, and do. And we like it that way.
Finally, thanks to all the great volunteers and contributors! It takes a lot more work, time and money to put one of these things on than you might think. It is appreciated!
Old Settlers Parade -- July 24, 2010
The Bellingham Tea Party entry was a large flatbed farm trailer decorated with American flags, We the People signs, pulled by an historic John Deere tractor -- this time, a hayride through downtown Ferndale. We marched and/or rode from Ferndale High School to Pioneer Park.
This is it for parades this year. Thanks again to Terry Cox for all of her hard work organizing three successful parades in Lynden, Blaine and Ferndale!
July 15th Town Hall -- Washington State Legislature Candidates
The Bellingham Tea Party has tallied 215 candidate rating sheets that were gathered at the conclusion of last night's "Meet The Candidates" Town Hall forum held last evening at Whatcom Community College Syre Auditorium.
The full-house event was attended by about 325 citizens. The audience was respectful, the questions were thoughtful and well prepared, and the candidates gave concise and articulate answers. At the close of the program, the audience was asked to rate the candidates on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being most favorable. Some candidates who were unable to attend were rated based on candidate name recognition.
Candidates for WA State Rep. Dist. 40 - Position 1
Candidates for WA State Rep. Dist. 42 - Position 1
Candidates for WA State Rep. Dist. 40 - Position 2
Candidates for WA State Rep. Dist. 42 - Position 2
Candidates for WA State Senate Dist. 42
These candidates are competing in the upcoming primary for positions on the fall ballot. We encourage all citizens to become as well informed as possible, and to vote August 17th. Look for your ballots in the mail at the end of the month - and do remember to vote. The exercise of this right is what makes America great.
July 8th Town Hall -- United States Legislature Candidates
The Bellingham Tea Party has tallied 263 candidate rating sheets that were gathered at the conclusion of Thursday night's "Meet The Candidates" Town Hall forum held last evening at Whatcom Community College Syre Auditorium.
The full-house event was attended by about 445 citizens. The audience was respectful, the questions were thoughtful and well prepared, and the candidates gave concise and articulate answers. At the close of the program, the audience was asked to rate the candidates on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being most-favorable. Even candidates who were unable to attend (such as Murray and Rossi) were rated based on audience perceptions.
Candidates for U.S. House of Representatives
Candidates for U.S. Senate
Independence Day Parade -- July 4, 2010
The city of Blaine put on a very nice Independence Day celebration with street vendors, classic cars, hot rods and a parade.
The Bellingham Tea Party entry was a large flatbed farm trailer, pulled by an historic John Deere tractor -- a hayride through downtown Blaine.
We received lots of waves, cheers and applause from the crowd. People seem to support America's founding principles.
Thanks again to Terry Cox for all of her hard work organizing another successful parade!
Flag Day Celebration -- June 14, 2010
Patriots gathered on every overpass over I-5 from Blaine to Vancouver WA for the second annual Flag Day celebration. The Bellingham Tea Party terrorized Whatcom County with smiles and American flags, waving at passing motorists.
Above: snapshots from the Samish Way South overpass.
Above: snapshots from the Alabama Street overpass.
People were obviously having fun out there. Thanks to Joan and Steve Hansen for organizing this event.
Lynden Farmer's Day Parade -- June 5, 2010
Here are some snapshots from the Lynden Farmer's Day Parade. On the left, we're waiting to march. We were number 94 out of 100 or so entries, so we had a rather long wait, but we had fun discussing current events and visiting. On the right, we're finally on the march. The master of ceremonies gave us a very nice introduction, going "off script" to add his own support.
Special thanks to Terry Cox for providing flags and hats, water, and who knows what else, and for organizing everything.
First Anniversary Tea Party -- April 15, 2010
Our first anniversary tax day protest on The Guide Meridian was a great success. A good time was had by all. Estimates pegged the attendance at about 2000 peaceful protesters, concerned for their country and their Constitution. We had few, or no "crashers".
Kris Halterman did a video walk-about with her i-Phone. Here are a few of her interviews ...
Health Care Liberty Rally -- Friday March 19 & 20, 2010
Friday and Saturday, tea partiers gathered in front of Rick Larsen's Bellingham office to protest the government health care take-over. Here are some images from Friday's protest. The Bellingham Herald estimates 250 - 300 people attended the rally. Saturday's estimates were about 100, but about half of the potential participants were at the 2010 Republican County Convention.
In Defense of Liberty -- Feb. 20, 2010
Hooray for the "ordinary people", as Dr. Dickson called us, at Saturday evening's, "In Defense of Liberty" program at the Mt Baker Theater. We have made a difference, just like the founding fathers intended us to do! Or as Charles Krauthammer said, "The nation isn't ungovernable — it's working just as the Founding Fathers intended".
What's next? We are going to continue to defend our liberties and work towards regaining the liberties we have lost. At least that's what the folks at Saturday's performance seemed to indicate. They defined the enemies, they asked us to consider the legacy we are leaving our children, they gave us tools for the upcoming battles, and they lined out an agenda for 2010.
As we left the Mt Baker Theater on Saturday evening, a friend commented about the mood of the crowd. He thought it was a more serious, thoughtful crowd than prior events and they were listening intently. We spoke to people about Tony Larson's closing speech and asked for their thoughts. They said, "It was exactly what needed to be said, if we are really serious about what we are doing".
Just think, if "ordinary people" are thinking seriously about these United States of America. . . we mean really seriously .... dare it be said, that we may truly be able to save 'Her' as the great nation our Founders intended?
We are re-energized, but it's different now. It's not the excitement of finding out we are not alone in our concept of how our government is supposed to work. It's not even the excitement of realizing the Tea Party movement has made a difference. It is now the "roll up our sleeves and let's get to work", excitement of joining our Founding Fathers in their 'noble endeavor'.
Thank you to the following people for your participation and inspiration:
Dr. David Dickson - Master of Ceremonies, The Bellingham Eagle Scouts - Parade of Colors, Reverend Kevin Bond Allen - Invocation, the 'Liberty 8' octet - "Battle Hymn of the Republic", Jerry Stewart - "In Defense of Liberty", Patti Brooks - "Progress vs. Progressive", Mary Beth Teigrob & Peggy Uppiano - "Pilgrims Plight", Bob Williams - Evergreen Freedom Foundation - "The Tea Party is the Solution", Hugh Foulke - 'The Town Crier Alarm' - "Big Debt, Big Government", Stevie Mason (WWU Student) - video "Liberty Lost & the Fight for Freedom", Tony Larson - Northwest Business Monthly - "We're Not Gonna Take It", Karl Uppiano - Technician, Lynn Carpenter & Paulene Moa - Volunteer Coordinators, Ellen Baker - Media Release Specialist, Randy & Kathy Cross - Laserpoint Awards - Print & Supply Resources, local Video Participants , ALL of the Volunteers who helped at the lobby tables and the Mt Baker Theater staff.
We want to give a big 'thank you' to the 'extraordinary people', who contributed funds for the continuation of our Mission Statement:
Reverse deficit spending and the concentration of power in central government, in order to preserve individual liberty and states' rights for future generations
~ Lorraine Newman & Kris Halterman - "In Defense of Liberty", Program Co-Chairs
We the People -- Sept. 11, 2009
A nearly sell-out crowd (over 1300 tickets sold) filled Mt. Baker Theatre on Friday evening for We the People, put on by The Bellingham Tea Party. It was a combination of live musical performances featuring patriotic music, music videos and educational videos, along with speeches to commemorate the people who lost their lives on 9/11, and to promote America's founding principles. The keynote speaker was Jerry Stewart, known to many for his "One Moment in America" radio series. This was an emotional "farewell address" as he is leaving Whatcom County and moving back to his home state of Texas.
Without exception, every one of the live performers and speakers gave wonderful performances. The time, effort and talent that went into this program was astounding, including the planning, logistics and preparation that went on behind the scenes, and the volunteers to set up and help out in the lobby. It was truly a privilege to be a part of this production. The audience response was extremely gratifying, and made it all worth it.
Patti Brooks read An Open Letter to America's Leaders:
I'm a home grown American citizen, 53, registered Democrat all my life. Before the last presidential election, I registered as a Republican because I no longer felt the Democratic Party neither represented my views nor worked to pursue issues important to me. Now, I no longer feel the Republican Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. The fact is, I no longer feel any political party or representative in Washington represents my views or works to pursue the issues important to me. There must be someone who can represent me. Please tell me who you are. Tell me you are there and you're willing to fight for our Constitution as it was written. Please stand up now. You might ask yourself what my views and issues are that I would feel so horribly disenfranchised by both major political parties.
Briefly, these are my views and issues for which I seek representation: (continue reading...)
Here is the Progression of the World's Greatest Civilizations from Tony Larson's speech:
- From bondage to spiritual faith
- From spiritual faith to great courage
- From courage to liberty
- From liberty to abundance
- From abundance to complacency
- From complacency to apathy
- From apathy to dependence
- From dependence back into bondage
Tony asked where you think The United States of America is right now.
Flag Day on the I-5 Overpasses -- June 14, 2009
The goal for the flag day celebration was to have people waving flags from every overpass on I-5 from Blaine to Portland. Here are some photos of happy participants.
They report very positive reactions by drivers and passers-by. Honks and waves, even from our friends from north of the border with the Canadian license plates!
The First Bellingham Tea Party -- April 15, 2009
Bellingham WA was one of the more than 500 cities nationwide that scheduled a "Tea Party" on tax day -- April 15 -- to protest the fiscal irresponsibility of congress, the federal budget and the tax policy. It was to run from 4:00PM to 6:00PM, during rush hour.
We expected about 200 to 400 people, but the estimates were more like 3000 - 4000. The Bellingham Herald said "more than 1500". They were technically correct, I guess. In Bellingham, the Tea Party extended down both sides of "The Guide" (the busiest street in town), as far as the eye could see.
It occurred to me at the time, that it is fairly unlikely that we have this many "extremists" in Bellingham. I think we were a bunch of regular people who are terrified of how completely out of control our government has become in such a short time.
The traffic driving through was very supportive, with honks, waves and thumbs up all around. During the entire event, I only heard one drive-by heckler shout "get a life!". I shouted "get a job", but he was already too far away.
Speaking with the police officers who were assigned to crowd control, they said they had never seen a happier group. We were not angry, but we are determined to preserve the values that made this country great.
I was on the cleanup committee, and I am pleased to report that there was practically nothing -- nothing -- left behind after this massive gathering. My family and I walked the entire length of the event site (about six blocks), and found only a handful of plastic water bottles and a couple of flyers.
Pending Legislation
Find out what your legislators are doing, and then ask them for a thoughtful and credible answer to the question, "Which article of the Constitution gives government the authority to do that?"
Federal Legislation
Washington State Legislation
Research Mom is a grass roots political watchdog in Olympia. She keeps an eye on Washington State Legislation. Her opinions are not necessarily those of the Whatcom County Tea Party, but she does stay on top of legislative activity in Olympia, and provides analysis not found in the mainstream media.
Washington State Spending
In terms of spending, how does Washington State "rank" compared to other states? According to Forbes's regulatory cost index, that category is based on "Measures regulatory and tort climate, incentives, transportation and bond rating." Not a bad mix of variables, but not comprehensive and Forbes does not get into the details of how they judge each variable in relation to the others.
One such study that does get into a more comprehensive look into regulations is the Mercatus Center with its "Freedom in the 50 States: An index of personal and economic freedom."
With #1 being best, #50 worst – in fiscal policy Washington ranks 37th overall. In regulatory policy we rank 45th (6th worst). Economic freedom we are at 41st, and personal freedom we rank at 35th. Overall, Washington ranks 44th.
Washington State Budget Blueprint
The Washington Policy Center posted the state Senate budget blueprint on February 23rd that included millions in tax loopholes and numerous new taxes. (See the list ...)
Political Humor
Below are some slogans that capture many of the principles and issues that Tea Partiers believe in, and are concerned about. They make good sound bites, tweets and Tea Party signs, too!
- Armed and Dangerous--WITH MY VOTE
- Born Free, Taxed to Death
- Cap and Trade = Trap and Raid
- Congress: Read the Constitution
- Cut Taxing and Spending; Fire a Politician
- Debt is the Problem; How Can it be the Solution too?
- Don't Bail Out The Boat; FIX THE LEAK
- Don't Tread on Me
- Don't Mortgage my Child's Future
- Don't Stimulate; Liberate
- DOWNSIZE D.C.
- Economics for Dummies: Spend Less Than You Earn
- Equal Opportunity not Equal Distribution
- Freedom Works -- Bailouts Hurt
- Give us Liberty; not Debt
- Government Doesn't Create Jobs...They Cremate Jobs
- Got Money? Don't Let the Government Know
- High Taxes + Big Government = SLAVERY
- HONK for capitalism
- HONK if I'm paying your Mortgage
- HONK if you're Fed Up with Both Sides of the Aisle
- How About a 90% Tax on Congressional Salaries
- How Can You NOT Know Where the Billions of My Dollars Go?
- I Am an American and I vote
- I will keep my Freedom, my Guns, my Money
- If Everyone Paid Taxes...We Would All Be Equal
- If You Think Health Care is Expensive Now, Wait Until It's Free
- If You Voted YES to Spending, Consider this your Going Away Party.
- I'm Taking Back My COUNTRY; One Politician at a Time
- Just Say NO to Socialism
- Kick 'em Out in 2012
- Let the Free Markets Work
- More Government for The People = Less Freedom of the People
- Next Time, Read the Bill Before You Sign It.
- No Public Money for Private Failure
- Our Congress IS a TOXIC ASSET
- Party like it's 1773!
- Pay for your OWN Mortgage
- Pork, the Other (Red) Meat
- Power corrupts; Absolute Power corrupts Absolutely
- Put the Constitution on his Teleprompter!
- Prefer Voluntary Over Mandatory
- Print me a trillion While You're At It
- Read the 10th Amendment - Power to the States
- Repeal the Bailout
- Repeal Big Government Health Care
- Repeal the Pork or Your Bacon is Cooked
- Revolution is Brewing ... At the Polls
- Save Trees; Stop Printing Money
- Stimulate Business, Not Government
- Stop Punishing Success; Stop Rewarding Failure
- TEA = Tyranny Elimination Army
- THE BEST UNION – WE THE PEOPLE
- The Real "Faux News" -- The Alphabet Networks -- ABC CBS NBC MSNBC -- Unfair and Biased
- The Very Small List: "Things Government Does Well"
- UNITED FOR INDIVIDUAL LIBERTY
- We the People
- WE THE PEOPLE – A UNION OF CITIZENS
- We're Not Going Away!
- Which article of The Constitution gives government the authority to do that?
- Who Will be Left to Bailout the Government
- Will Work for Lower Taxes
- You Can't Multiply Wealth by Dividing It
Translation of Common Euphemisms
There is an email going around the Internet that gives translations for common euphemisms, that is, doublespeak intended to obfuscate the true meaning, in order to promote an agenda. Now, as a public service, we have adapted that list into a handy translation table.
| Doublespeak | Actual Meaning |
|---|---|
| Accepted Facts | Propaganda |
| Arsenal of Weapons | Gun Collection |
| Assault Weapon | Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine) |
| Commonsense Gun Control | 2nd Amendment Infringement |
| Cruelty-Free Materials | Synthetic Fiber |
| Delicate Wetlands | Swamp |
| Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater | Patriotic Classical Liberal |
| Fair Trade Coffee | Overpriced Yuppie Coffee |
| Fairness or Social Progress | Marxism |
| Fiscal Stimulus | Wealth Redistribution Scheme |
| Healthcare Reform | Socialized Medicine |
| Heavily Armed | Well Protected |
| High Capacity Magazine | Defense Load |
| Illegal Hazardous Explosives | Fireworks for Stump Removal |
| Investment For the Future | Meddling With Free Enterprise |
| Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting | Mercury-Laden Chinese Light Bulbs |
| Multicultural Community | Melting Pot |
| Narrow Minded | Principled |
| Non-viable Tissue Mass | Unborn Baby |
| Progressive, Change | Big Government Scheme |
| Reintroduced Wolves | Livestock Killers |
| Religious Zealot | Church-Going |
| Sniper Rifle | Scoped Deer Rifle |
| Taxes or Your Fair Share | Highway Robbery |
| Tea Party Extremist | Constitutional Advocate |
| The Gun Lobby | NRA Members |
| Truants | Home Schoolers |
| Undocumented Worker | Illegal Alien |
| Upper Class or "The Rich" | Self Supporting |
All You Need to Know about Government Bureaucracy:
| • | The Pythagorean theorem: | 24 | words |
| • | The Lord's Prayer: | 66 | words |
| • | Archimedes' Principle: | 67 | words |
| • | The Ten Commandments: | 179 | words |
| • | The Gettysburg Address: | 286 | words |
| • | The Declaration of Independence: | 1,300 | words |
| • | The US Constitution with all 27 Amendments: | 7,818 | words |
| • | US Government Regulations on the Sale of Cabbage: | 26,911 | words |
Sort of puts things into the proper perspective, doesn't it?
The Ant and the Grasshopper
Two different versions -- two different morals:Original Version
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
Moral of the Original Version
Be responsible for yourself!
Modern Version
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green...'
ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We Shall Overcome."
The radical preacher has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper's sake, but instead of asking for voluntary donations, he demands that the government shake down the ant for his productivity.
The President condemns the ant and blames numerous former presidents, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.
The U.S. House & Senate leaders exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.
The entire nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.
Moral of the Modern Version
Be careful how you vote in 2012.
Psalm 23 -- A Respectful Parody
This little parody illustrates how bureaucracy is replacing honor, virtue and religion in American life; how the cold "redistribution of wealth" is replacing the warmth of charity, duty and accomplishment. Our apologies to the original author.
The Government is my Shepherd, I need not work.
It alloweth me to lie down on a good job; It leadeth me beside still factories; It destroyeth my initiative.
It leadeth me in the path of a parasite for politics' sake;
Yea, though I walk through the valley of laziness and deficit-spending,
I will fear no evil, for the government is with me.
It prepareth an economic Utopia for me, by appropriating the earnings of my own grandchildren.
It filleth my head with false security; My inefficiency runneth over.
Surely the government should care for me all the days of my life, And I shall dwell in a fool's house forever.
Copyright © 2012 Whatcom County Citizens for Freedom d/b/a The Bellingham Tea Party, Bellingham WA